Tuesday, October 25, 2016

23 Weeks

This post is going to be a little different than my standard updates because honestly, this is where I'm at and anything else would seem so fake. Let me start by saying that I am so, so grateful and appreciative of this beautiful life. The reality is, though, that being a mother to a 3.5 year old, a wife (to an amazing husband), a PhD student in a competitive program, and 23 weeks pregnant is HARD.

Last week I travelled to a conference, and while it was filled with so many incredible experiences (2 presentations- 1 where I was first author, making connections with seasoned researchers in the field, and doing what I can to make a name for myself), it was absolutely exhausting. Amazing, but exhausting. I came home on Sunday and "real life" was waiting, with a tired husband, cranky child, and a week ahead waiting to be prepped for (groceries, lunches to be packed, and dirty laundry).

Sometimes, you just need to cry it out. So that's what I did this week. Lots of crying.

I cried because...
- heartburn is hurts,
- hip pain sucks,
- I can't sleep and yet I constantly feel like I'm going to pass out,
- I worry about being the best mommy to Declan and his little brother while trying to be competitive in my profession.

And then I cried more because...
- I am so beyond blessed to be growing a second tiny little man,
- Owen got the hiccups,
- Declan has his first girlfriend (Hayley) and I'm so proud of the respectful gentlemen he is,
- I have a husband who busts his ass every day so that the mortgage, pre-school tuition, and bills are things that I don't need to worry about,
- Everyone is healthy and we are so freaking blessed.

And then I cried more because figuring out how to balance all of these scary and beautiful things is hard, hard work and I'm just doing the best that I can. And then I cried more because I know the best I can do is perfectly fine and is damn good enough for my family.

Phew, okay. Let's talk week 23 :)

Little man has a name! Owen Adrien Monahan.

Here's a side by side from Declan and Owen, and then Owen on his own. We switched it up this week and took a picture outside because I wanted to soak up the cooler weather.. and the leaves on that tree are awesome.



How far along?  23 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss?  I honestly have no idea. My nutrition isn't great so I want to work on that. I had my appointment yesterday and while I didn't pay attention to the scale, no one mentioned anything about weight gain, so I'm not worrying about it.

Maternity clothes? The shirt in Owen's 23 week picture isn't maternity and I think it might be the last time I wear it (unless I wear it to school tomorrow... which I might, because my standards are pretty low).

Stretch marks? Still nothing!

Sleep? I'm falling asleep okay, but tossing and turning constantly. Our bed just seems way too small.

Best moment last week? Coming home after the conference and seeing D and Kevin.

Movement?  Yesterday, the midwife was trying to find Owen's heartbeat and said, "Yikes. This is a pretty active baby." So, yup. Lots of movement!

Food cravings? No real cravings.

Labor signs? Wayyyy too early.

Belly button in/out? Still an innie, but I'm sure it'll pop out in a few weeks.

What I miss: Wine. All the wine. Is this my answer every week...?

What I am looking forward to: I can feel Owen from the outside sometimes, but it's very sporadic so I'm excited for D and Kevin to finally feel him.

Milestones: No big milestones to report!

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